Monday, October 28, 2013

Epic Battle of Epicness: Round 1: Metropolis: Ron Weasley v. Scooby Doo

Name: Ron Weasley
A.K.A.: -
Hometown: The Burrow
Known For: Being Ginger
Strength: Being a strong friend, killer chess skills
Weakness: Snogging with skanky girls
Wins: - 


Name: Scooby Doo
A.K.A.: -
Hometown: Coolsville
Known For: Solving mysteries
Strength: Great friend
Weakness: Always hungry and scared
Wins: - 

Ron is an awesome character, he is very real: lazy, horny, funny. He wins a chess game against Dame Maggie Smith's best game. He helps save the world from the worst wizard in history. And despite his poor upbringing, he doesn't let it get him down (mostly) and becomes the every man hero. Scooby on the other hand, eats a lot and runs away from men pretending to be ghosts. But who didn't want to be Shaggy with a talking dog side kick (well actually I wanted to be Velma, but that's another story). Scooby blunders his way through every mystery, as does Ron. This round of Epicness goes to Scooby, because he and Ron are very similar, but is a talking dog.

Conclusion: Ron Weasley v Scooby Doo

Monday, October 21, 2013

Epic Battle of Epicness: Round 1: Magic Kingdom: Mario Mario v. Robert Langdon

Name: Mario Mario
A.K.A.: -
Hometown: Mushroom Kingdom
Known For: Finding his princess
Strength: Magic mushrooms
Weakness: Three hits
Wins: - 


Name: Robert Langdon
A.K.A.: -
Hometown: Boston, Mass
Known For: Writing a lot of books about iconology
Strength: Knowing a lot of random bits of information about paintings
Weakness: Falling in love with any given woman
Wins: - 

Mario Mario (commonly called "Mario") revolutionized American gaming, and has been a staple in my gaming library for the better part of 20 years. Robert Langdon is an art history professor that gets drawn into many adventures (much like Mario). And by the end of each of their stories, they always seem to be in love. This round goes to Langdon though, as he has a job I would want.

Conclusion: Mario Mario v Robert Langdon

Monday, October 14, 2013

Epic Battle of Epicness: Round 1: Bayside: Kimberly Hart v Ash Ketchum

Name: Kimberly Hart
A.K.A.:  Pink Ranger
Hometown: Angel Grove, CA
Known For: Kicking ass in pink spandex
Strength: Gymnastic and never-give-up attitude
Weakness: bad 90's clothes
Wins: - 


Name: Ash Ketchum
A.K.A.: Pokemon Master
Hometown: Pallet Town
Known For: Wanting to be the very best
Strength: Never aging
Weakness: Doesn't know when to give up
Wins: - 

Kimberly rocks out with her cock out - er -- well, you know what I mean. Kimberly oozes sexuality without beating you over the head with it. Tag along her kick ass fighting skills and you have one young boy's favorite fantasy (well I wanted to be her). Ash has the best job in the world. He gets to live out my favorite video game and never grow old. This one has turned into which franchise do I like more. And the staying power of Power Rangers is more apparent in my apartment. This one goes to Kim. 

Conclusion: Kimberly Hart v Ash Ketchum

Monday, October 7, 2013

Epic Battle of Epicness: Round 1: Tommy Pickles v Superman

Name: Tommy Pickles
A.K.A.: -
Hometown: Unknown
Known For: Wearing a diapie
Strength: His plastic screw driver can open all gates
Weakness: Nap time
Wins: - 


Name: Superman
A.K.A.: Clark Kent
Hometown: Metropolis, KS
Known For: Wearing underwear outside his pants
Strength: He is a super man
Weakness: Kyptonite
Wins: - 

Tommy Pickles could solve any problem that arose in his life with either a screw driver or a well turned phrase that was wise way beyond his years. Clark Kent, is the most powerful super hero on Earth. He is a bit of a nerd (but so is Tommy). If this were a fight to the death, Supe would clearly win, but Tommy is way more epic. His adventures, though not as epic as Supe's, are more fun to watch even without all the explosions. 

Conclusion: Tommy Pickles v. Superman